Cost of Following Jesus

How Jesus Embodied Self-Control Here

In this passage, Jesus demonstrates remarkable self-control in the face of enthusiastic but unprepared would-be followers. Rather than capitalizing on their initial enthusiasm, He exercises restraint and speaks truth about discipleship's demands.

When the first man declares, "Lord, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest," Jesus responds with striking honesty: "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head." A less disciplined leader might have welcomed this eager volunteer immediately, but Jesus controls His natural desire for followers and instead presents the stark reality of His itinerant ministry. In first-century Palestine, homelessness carried profound social stigma, yet Jesus refuses to soften this truth.

His self-control becomes even more apparent with the second encounter. When the man requests time to "bury my father," Jesus responds, "Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God." In Jewish culture, honoring one's parents, especially in death, was a sacred duty. Yet Jesus exercises extraordinary restraint in not accommodating what seemed like a reasonable request. His response suggests the father may not have been dead yet—the phrase likely meant "let me wait until my father dies and I've fulfilled my family obligations." Jesus controls His impulse to be culturally accommodating when eternal priorities are at stake.

The final exchange reveals Jesus's most pointed display of self-control. When the third man asks to "bid them farewell" to his household, Jesus declares, "No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." Drawing from agricultural imagery familiar to His audience, Jesus refuses to lower the standard. A plowman who constantly looks back creates crooked furrows and accomplishes nothing. Jesus restrains any tendency toward compromise, maintaining the radical nature of kingdom discipleship.

Following His Example

Practice truth-telling in relationships. When friends or family members seek advice about major life decisions, resist the urge to tell them only what they want to hear. Like Jesus, we can love people enough to share difficult truths. If someone asks about marriage, career changes, or spiritual commitments, have the self-control to speak honestly about the real costs involved, even when encouragement alone would be easier and more popular.

Resist the urgency of others' timelines. In our instant-gratification culture, people often pressure us to make immediate commitments or decisions. Jesus's example shows us the self-control to slow down conversations when eternal or significant matters are at stake. Whether it's a business partnership, ministry opportunity, or relationship decision, we can follow Jesus's pattern of ensuring people understand what they're truly choosing before they choose it.

Maintain your standards despite social pressure. Jesus refused to lower His requirements even when it meant losing followers. In our daily lives, this might mean maintaining ethical business practices when competitors cut corners, holding to biblical principles when friends pressure us to compromise, or refusing to participate in gossip despite social expectations. Self-control means governing our actions by our deepest convictions rather than by the convenience of the moment.

Echoes in Other Traditions

This principle of spiritual self-discipline and honest assessment of commitment appears across many wisdom traditions. Buddhist teachings emphasize the importance of clear-eyed understanding of the Noble Path's demands before embarking on serious practice. Islamic spirituality speaks of the greater jihad—the struggle against the nafs (lower self)—requiring honest acknowledgment of the spiritual journey's difficulties. Stoic philosophy emphasizes the discipline of desire and the importance of aligning one's commitments with reality rather than wishful thinking.